How did I get here?

As salam walakum wa rahmatuAllahi wa barkatoh,
Good morning, Evening, or Afternoon. I pray you are all well and in good health. I wanted to touch base with the question of…
Who am I? That is an excellent question. Why did I start Elderberry Holistic Health? What are my intentions?

In our lives, we all have our own journeys that we are supposed to go through. Some people’s journeys are very easy, but that ease may still be difficult. Some people’s journeys are very challenging, dark, and painful. So hard that you don’t even know how to survive it. Or, looking back, how you did. Some people are able to go through these trials & tribulations in their life. Whether from support, family, or just sheer will… It seems they were able to get through it very fast, and there are people like me. Who had no idea…I felt like I had no idea how to navigate this world, how to survive the trials. How to heal… I don’t like to use the words like little or big. What I see as a big deal or hardship maybe not be the same for someone else. 

tree pathway
Started out very dark

For me, trauma started when I was born. My mother would say she thought the abuse she went through when she was preg. Also, it was a form of trauma for me. The creator knows best, but the age I remember abuse starting for me was at the age of 3. I am not going to go into detail about what happened to me… This is not the place for this… Maybe a book? My life was just full of abuse (in all aspects of it). In my lifetime, there was child abuse, rape, and kidnapping. Of course, there were times the light shined in on those dark times. I cherish those days, but for me, at the time, the darkness took over. Not knowing why I am here. Not knowing why me? Resulting in homelessness, drug & alcohol abuse, and Mental & emotional breakdown… 

It was when I was at the age of approx. 24 in 2003. I had a mental, emotional and physical health breakdown. At the time, a single mother. I was working 3rd shift at a casino (not an excellent healthy atmosphere). I was eating unhealthy, going to the food shelf. Just surviving every day to try to get things done. The stress was overbearing. Making do with whatever they had. I was overweight. Hypothyroidism and other sicknesses. I was utterly overwhelmed by my past traumas. Not having the time or mental/emotional capacity to deal-heal. I had been struggling with anxiety attacks, depression, and PSTD all my life and then started to have panic attacks. I began to be unable to function in my daily life. I just want to be able to be a good mother and be able to give her a stable, secure home.

a rood with woods

In the first step, I ran to the doctor. Fully trusted they would be able to help me. Their choice was to keep me in the patient for 2 weeks and work on giving medication. They put me on very high dosages. 

The medication they gave was Seroquel and others I have forgotten now. Still, the drugs didn’t help me with any symptoms that may have actually made it worse. It was like the medication imprisoned me.

To learn more about the side effects of Seroquel, click here

  • I was sleeping all the time, 23 hours a day. Literally only waking to eat or go to the bathroom.
  •  I couldn’t eat because I had muscle spasms so bad I couldn’t hold a spoon.
  • Gaining weight
  •  Still having symptoms of anxiety & panic every 10 min.
  •  Still having symptoms of PSTD.
  •  Still have vivid dreams where I didn’t know what reality and dreaming were.

It was a really dark time. My daughter, who was 5 at the time, remembers that there was something wrong. I really was never there. Though I was there… I returned to the doctor and told them this wasn’t working out. Is there some other way? They said that they would increase the medication. I felt in my gut this just wasn’t right. I ended up in the ER for my gallbladder; while there .. a man had a psychosis episode. Who just happened to be on the same medication, and his doctor had just increased his dosage that day.

I made the decision that day. I was going to listen to my body & heart and stop. I needed to be a mother. I needed to give her a life. I needed to provide her with a living. Be present. Protect her! It’s not possible for me like this. I was able to drive now. For some reason, I didn’t I couldn’t talk on the phone. I couldn’t go where it was loud and with many people (still working on this). I had to do something. For her. For me. For my mom, my sister. 

green leaf tree surrounded by green grass field

 So I cut cold turkey. I felt there had to be a better way to heal. 

I started researching natural medicine and how to treat my conditions naturally. I founded my school ACHS (American College of Health Science ), in 2005… I wanted to learn everything! At first, I went there for myself. My family? But after the first class, I wanted to share it with the world!!! There is a better way to heal and gain our Mental, Physical, and Emotional health. 

I started at home .. Baby steps… 

  1. Was my diet horrible? Eating corn syrup, Perspectives, msg, everything wrong I was eating. So I started to eat clean. Getting rid of these fast food foods. 
  2.  I started to drink more water. Though I was drinking coffee and pop, it was not the same. I literally could go days without water. 
  3.  I started exercising daily. I was a considerable athlete when I was younger, and because of all the trauma that concurred in my life.. All of that stopped. So I started hiking, walking, moving, and stretching. It’s incredible how much our bodies hold on to (Emotionally, Mentally). Sometimes I would stretch, and I would just cry. Not from physical pain but the emotional pain that I had held on to.  
  4.  I started to take herbs St. John’s wort. 
  5.  Using lavender & Chamomile, Tea & Aromatherapy in sleeping, stress, and anxiety. Anything.
  6.  Valerian to finely get a sleep pattern going. 

I started to see changes fast. SubahnaAllah (Glory to the creator of the heavens and earth and everything in between)

  • I was able to be there for my daughter.
  •  Daily chores started to become more manageable.
  •  Taking care of myself became more natural than forced, forgetting, or not caring.
  •  Emotionally more balanced.
  •  Sleeping without waking every 10 min. 
  •  Able to go to the store with someone there. Where before, I couldn’t even do that. I was under sensory overload, the people, the sounds.
  •  Now I had time in my own thoughts to look at my own beliefs. What do I want my life to be? What do I want for my daughter? For my family? Before, I was so consumed with the health crisis that I couldn’t even think about that.
  •  Finding Islam & Allah really saved me. The creator helped me every step in my journey. ( I can talk more about another time if you like. Leave a comment)

Some things took more time, and that was ok. I needed to grow and heal.

See, that is the beauty of holistic health. It’s a journey. Everyone is different in how people store trauma and stress. Everyone’s body is not the same, even down to digestion. I may digest food slower than you do… In Holistic health and neuropathy, we look at everyone individually… The one size fits all medical system does not work for all. I have been for the past 17 years to keep learning, researching and practicing to help not only me, my family but to bring it those who need, and want to learn!

Currently, I have healed: 

  • My hypothyroidism
  •  Eczema
  •  Anemia
  •  Loss of weight
  •  No fatty liver
  •  Lowered Heart Rate
  •  Lowered my cholesterol
  •  Gained more flexibility and balance, emotionally and physically.
  •  Depression alhamduillah (praise be to the creator) is gone.
  •  I still have panic, anxiety, and PSTD symptoms, but they are far less than before. Also, I have come to be ok with it. I think a lot of what triggered it. Was the worry someone would see me or know … Quite frankly I don’t care anymore… I care about my health, my family, and who I am. If anyone judges me otherwise. It’s their loss… Not mine.
  •  The ability to function in society. 
  •  I started driving again. Going to a store…
  • Sleeping without waking up every 5 min in a panic. 

And much more. 

Some may think that I am way too candid here. Well, it’s who I am, and I genuinely believe it’s crucial to be as candid, truthful, and frank as possible. It’s essential in the healing process. NOT the hard-on yourself.. No, should, would, could of… NO…. 

We can not change the past. We can only learn from the past and be present. We have to make a choice. I deserve to heal. I deserve to be whole. I deserve to heal. What happened? It was not right. It hurt. They hurt you, but You deserve to have a life in safety, love, and care. You need to make the decision I am no longer going to live, relive the pain of the past that holds me back for my present and future.  

( I lost so much time with my daughter, mother, and sister stuck in the past traumas, pain, and fear) 

“I can heal”! You can heal! Thinking with self-love, Self-support. If I am not candid. If you are not candid about your story… How can we Validate what happened? and help others? How can we warn others not to fall into our holes?

 I hope you take from my story that you are worthy of healing and taking the time out to find yourself. No matter what, however long it takes .. doesn’t matter.. what matters is that you feel whole again.

Why Are you blogging?

  • I want to share my passion for holistic Health, Including. If I can help others to achieve their lives back. I feel that what I went through was worth every sec!
  •  Nutrition 
  •  Herbs and remedies.
  •  aromatherapy and so many other types of therapy
  •  I would also love to build a community. So if you have the same passion or want to learn more, don’t hesitate to connect with me. Or you have a topic request or question. It’s my honor to be able to help support you in your journey… And my journey is never-ending… maybe we can support one another…
  •  It’s also my passion to be able to offer my consultations and or coaching services at a reasonable price. As I firmly believe everyone deserves to have holistic natural healing ..

What have I helped others to achieve? 

  • Advising/ Supporting people wean and detox prescription drugs. 
  •  Support/ solutions for Drug and Alcohol addiction
  •  Primary care children’s health
  •  Misdiagnoses 
  •  Coaching on health 
  •  Helping with Fibromyalgia 
  •  Weightloss surgery support
  •  Detoxing
  •  Pregnancy and Birth
  •  Hijamah

If you have gotten this far. Thank you so much for your time and kindness in reading about me. Means a lot to me. I hope my story can help someone out there. At the very least, to know that you are not alone and there is help. There is another way out…

I would love to know how you feel about this post today..

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